THROUGH THE WATER DARKLY...

When is something the truth and when is it false? When is a memoir a lie? We all have ideas on what has happened in our lives. We are all prone to exaggeration. Or are we?

I just read about another memoir in publishers marketplace HERE that has been shown to be untrue.
This is why I enjoy writing fiction. I admit it. I love to exaggerate.
"It must have been over 1000 degrees in that room!!!"
"We were stuck in traffic for HOURS!"
"I was in labor for DAYS!!!"
"That dress looks great on you."
"No I didn't take the last chocolate."
"Sure, I think you've lost weight."
I think you get what I mean. The things I haven't done?
Tell someone I've been in a country that I haven't.
Lied about where I went to school or whether I graduated.
Lied about my age.
Okay maybe not.
Lied about my wieght.
Okay maybe not.
But I haven't lied about anything IMPORTANT. Like if I read a book when I haven't...
Okay maybe that was a bad example.
So what do you think? What's the difference between enhancement and a lie?
Is exaggeration and embellishment a problem?
Inquiring minds want to know.

And while you're thinking...Here's a way cool photo of the book club I chatted with on Tuesday.
Mr. Taniguchi's ITE 314 class from the University of Hawaii. The discussion was lively and we had a grand time!

I think they all voted that three venti lattes was WAY TOO much for the author Patricia Wood...

WHAT IT'S LIKE LIVING IN HAWAII ON A BOAT...OR...I BET YOU DON'T HAVE AN ENGINE ROOM IN YOUR HALLWAY

The guts of ORION.


I've had several readers and writers request that I post about what living on a boat is like.
Well.
Okay.
Fine.
But I don't know what the big deal is. I mean, it's just like a house. Really. One that when you step out the front door you plunge into a pool of diesel laden saltwater over your head.
One that requires more maintenance and money than a 16 year old girl at her first prom.
One that could sink up to the second floor bedroom windows.
One that shifts up and down. Back and forth. And periodically escapes and bumps into the neighboring residence.

"It moves?" You ask.
Well, yes. It moves.
"All the time?" You ask.
Well, yes. All the time.
During storm surges and high winds we're heeling right at the dock.
At night I hear water lapping and the bilge pump going on at quiet moments. This is comforting because it reassures me I will not wake up below the water line.
The fantasy of living on a boat usually requires a glass of wine, a sunset, a cute deckhand in short shorts and lounge chairs next to the helipad.
The reality?
A grumpy husband with his s*** covered armpit deep in a toilet that ceased to function at 3 am or me filling a water tank at 11 pm with shampoo in my hair and a bathrobe covering a soapy body.
Take your pick.
And then a green sea turtle paddles over and begins munching the seaweed on the hull. The morning sun sneaks upwards and lights the Waianae Range and we both lean against cockpit cushions and sip our hot coffee.

It's the best of times. It's the worst of times.
Wait. I think that line's been taken...
It's just so totally cool.
Oh er...I guess that's been taken too.
Kay Den
This blog is now open for questions.

A FEW NEW BOOKS OUT THIS MONTH BROUGHT TO YOU BY TOULOOSE

TOULOOSE THINKS EVERYBODY NEEDS TO READ MORE AND THAT OVERALL BOOKS NEED TO BE SOFTER...


It's so exciting to have bloggers and cyberfriends find success!
I thought I'd ask Touloose to do a few reviews - here are some of his favorites out this month that I hope you will check out.
Obedience by Will Lavender

Kirkus gave Will's book a fabulous review. Touloose gave it two paws up but thought it needed more cats.
Will and I are AW (Absolute Write) buddies and he's always there to hand out advice to new writers.
Another author who offers advice to new writers: Therese Fowler. Her book Souvenir was first published in the UK and now makes its debut here this month.

Therese's book deals not just with romance but controversy as well. Right to die issues make for contention and being involved in disability studies I have been on both sides of this discussion. Therese's book provides much food for thought.
Touloose also gave this book two paws up but reflected that the story would have been even better if the main character had been a cat.
Blogger Carleen Brice also has a book on the shelves.

Orange Mint and Honey was called an "accomplished debut" by Publisher's Weekly. Touloose thought that again cat's were not emphasized enough in the plot and suggested adding several would have given the book more tension.
So here are three books you can add to your
TO BE READ pile.
THIS MESSAGE HAS BEEN APPROVED BY TOULOOSE AND REFLECTS HIS PERSONAL OPINIONS AND NOT NECESSARILY THE OPINION OF BLOGGER.
Happy Reading

IT'S THAT TIME OF YEAR...

First the good news. I live in Hawaii. It's warm.

That bad news?
Read on.


This is my Rolodex of foreign rights contracts. These are only slightly more complex than putting a human on the moon or designing a perpetual motion machine. Or maybe inventing hot fudge sundaes with only ten calories...
10:21 and 76 degrees.
Here's where a writer can get stymied. I'd really rather be writing but er uh the Tax Man cometh. Or is that the Ice Man? Hmmm.
I'll have to straighten out my theater references.
The day to day reality of business can get in the way of artistic creation.
I designed this handy dandy book o' receipts. It had places for each month's expenses.


January 2007. All papers and receipts went in the book immediately. Entered neatly. Totaled.
February 2007. After a few days delay. I gathered Februarys receipts up. Entered them a week later.
March 2007 I totaled February receipts and stuffed March's into my purse.
April 2007 I put March receipts from my purse to the nav station table. April receipts? Where the heck did I put April receipts?
May 2007 Found April receipts in forward cabin being used as cat beds.
June 2007 Life is good.
July 2007 No worries.
August 2007 What are all these papers doing on the nav table and in the forward cabin?
September 2007 What are all these papers doing in my purse, on the nav table and in the forward cabin?
October 2007 Somebody scared me by dressing up as an IRS auditor on Halloween. Hmmm. Maybe I should think about...nah...there's plenty of time.
November 2007 I love Turkey. What are all these receipts doing in my oven?
December 2007 I love Christmas. What are all these receipts doing under my tree?
January 2008. uh oh.
Find handy dandy Book O' Receipts that has lain dormant for nine months.
Find receipts in drawers, on tables, under tables, in purse.
Spend month of February sorting, filing, adding, printing, remembering.
INTERESTING FACT:
Do you know that charge receipts fade after only a few months?
So back to my work in progress.
Oh.
My receipts are now being carefully filed by Touloose.
Every cat needs a part time job.

YOU CAN'T GET THERE FROM HERE...OR...WHERE IN THE WORLD IS THE AUTHOR PATRICIA WOOD?

A new take on WHERE'S WALDO

10 am and 81 degrees.
So I get an overnight FED EX package from NEW YORK.
I open it up.
A large yellow envelope slips out addressed to:
PATRICIA WOOD AUTHOR OF LOTTERY
and PUTNAM'S address.
Rachel my editor's very uber rock assistant sends me a note attached.
"FAN MAIL," she writes.
"HOW COOL," I thought which makes me think of my friend who lives in ALASKA.
The Yellow Envelope contains a smaller white envelope - this was becoming kind of like those wooden RUSSIAN DOLLS that get tinier and tinier as you open them up.
It's been marked "RETURN TO SENDER."
Because it's addressed to"PATRICIA WOOD AUTHOR OF LOTTERY KOOLINA HAWAII
That's all.
I open it up.
It's a note.
As I read, I could feel my head swell. After I SLAPPED MYSELF AS HOLLY ALWAYS WANTS TO DO and re read some negative reviews it went right back to NORMAL.
The scene from the Oscars came to mind.
"YOU LIKE ME...YOU REALLY LIKE ME..."
A writer is so alone when they're creating a novel. When I'm working I'm engrossed in my story and loving it but I have no idea how anyone else is going to like it.
THE REST OF THE STORY.
The return address of the note?
Is Honolulu, Hawaii.
This lovely note traveled around Hawaii. Flew to New York back and forth. And arrived back to ME.
How cool is that.
So I'm sure you ALL have stories about mail malfunction.
Bring it on...

A HEART FULL OF SADNESS ON VALENTINE'S DAY

Founder's Library at Northern Illinois University. My master's thesis resides there. I spent hours in this library.


I am simply in shock. My alma mater.
Manic mommy and I both attended Northern Illinois University. I was there from 1977 to 1982. I earned a Bachelor's and a Master's degree there. My son flew kites on campus and played with his toy trucks down the corridor of Montgomery Hall while I attended class. He was even chased by the famous goose that lived in the lake.
Located out in the middle of the cornfields, DeKalb was as safe a place as you could possibly find.
Disco. Saturday Night Live. Wet tee shirt contests. The humid summers and the snow encrusted winters.
I am so sorry that this has happened. We so need to eliminate how easy it is to get guns in this country.
My heart aches for the people who endured this trauma and destruction.
There is nothing more to say.

HOW DO YOU GET THERE FROM HERE?

Semi-blue sky. 79 degrees. Word of the day: Disorganization.
Okay.
I'm way out here in the Ocean. That's my starting point.
I want to get to shore.
How do I do that?

So I'm writing this novel see.
And I've got this beginning see.
And I've got this end see?
But er uh it's this pesky middle part gets me mired down. There are so many POSSIBILITIES. I get so distracted. Maybe this is what attracts me to writing. I create these characters and this situation and then I make things happen. It's kind of like being God. Oh. Gee. Don't get all offended. (But it IS you know).
So my next novel has a boy with a dream.
A mechanic with a secret.
An aunt with regrets.
A ghost.
And a horse.
That's as much as I will tell you. I don't like talking about my projects in any great detail unless I'm pondering over a plot point or brainstorming. There was an interesting article in Writers and Poets some time back that described the phenomenon of talking "out" a project until all creativity was lost. I can really understand how this can happen. Very often authors will only drop a premise of a line or 2 to whet the interest of readers and then stay mum...
So now I'm taking a break.
Blogging.
Taking a breather.
There's a point to all this. My blog is a way of thinking out loud. A sort of writers' conversation with myself so to speak...and then? There's all these commenters!! How cool is that? It's like talking to yourself and then you get a bunch of answers back. Readers say "Oh that sounds cool I want to read that book - hurry and write it."
Other writers say "gee that's what I do- I'm NOT weird after all!"
And my husband says "I thought today was the day you were going to clean the boat and NOT write or blog."
oops.

GUNG HEE FAT CHOY

8 PM 76 Degrees and too much time on my hands.
I want to be a horse...

I appreciate the Chinese New Year. This is the year of the rat. I happen to be a snake and my husband is a horse. I wanted to be the horse. But no. I get to be the snake. Why the snake? I'm always the snake. I don't want to be the snake anymore. I want to be the horse. It's not fair. Not fair at all.
To play this game you have to know your birth year -- your real one -- not the one you tell everybody.
FIND YOUR ANIMAL HERE
Below are the choices:
CAUTION: Here is where I dis all the other horoscope animals.

Rat
Rat people are charming. An example is when we say "You dirty rat..."

Ox
Ox people are bright. Yeah.
I think this is where we say dumb as an Ox

Tiger
Tiger people are emotional and cry easily.
Then they eat you. They are always really, really sorry afterwards

Hare
Rabbits play in the moon light and take crazy chances.
They are often found in mental health facilities...and not as the caretakers (hint hint)

Dragon
Dragon people follow their own drummer. If they are rich then they are eccentric. It they are poor then they are deeply disturbed. If they are celebrities then they are in rehab.

Snake
Snake people are perfect. (Sneaky but perfect.)

Horse
Horse people are wild and free and will kick you in the butt if you turn your back on them.
They are not to be trusted.

Lamb
Lamb people are shy.
They are wusses and are often given wedgies in the school lavatories.

Monkey
Monkey people? MONKEY PEOPLE? Ha! Need I say more?

Rooster
Rooster people are moody. They get up way too early in the morning and are often found combing their hair. Elvis is only part Rooster.

Dog
Dog people are loyal and honest. They will get nowhere in life.

Boar
Boar people are real pigs

So go. Look yourself up. Then tell me if you match your animal. If you have trouble I can help point out all your negative qualities...

THOSE PESKY CHARACTERS AND NEW AND IMPROVED WEBSITES

MY CATS ARE SERIOUSLY FREAKED...

You Are a Rottweiler Puppy

Powerful, smart, and protective. You're eager to growl at anyone you hate - but you're a big sweetheart inside.

What Breed of Puppy Are You?

Check it out. Let me know how you like my NEW AND EVEN MORE IMPROVED WEBSITE.
You may have to hit refresh...


They come by when you least expect it. Characters. Like this one. He wants to be in a novel. He'd prefer to be in a cozy mystery but he'll take a romance...or even a thriller. Like, uh, teenage mutant turtle ninjas . It's a role he's studied carefully. He was made to play it. He's a natural.

75 degrees and 8:21pm.

It was an exciting week. First of all I was taped to be on TV. On one side of me was Charles Memminger - a journalist I admire - and the other side? Gary Moore a Little Richard impersonator. Hey. You can't make this s*** up!
SEE ME HERE AFTER MONDAY It will be broadcast after the 9 pm channel 5 news and also be online.

Afterwards I met the WORLD FAMOUS LIBRARIAN Peg.

I tagged along with Peg and her husband and we wandered around Chinatown in the pouring rain then we all had dinner together. I SO love librarians who come visit me in Hawaii.
So now? Yes it's back to work. With those pesky characters. I need them to come up with at least 20,000 more words in a hurry.
"It was a dark and stormy night for the teenage turtle wannabe mutant ninja. Suddenly a door slammed. A woman screamed. A dog howled. The stock market plunged.
The body floated in the harbor. Meanwhile downtown, Sydney looked in the mirror and felt his growth of beard. Damn that testosterone...
Okay commenters. We have 19,949 words to go. It's all yours.