GETTING A 'TURTORIAL'

NOTE: THIS JUST IN. My friend RAY says nobody reads his blog. Prove him wrong!!! Oh and he wrote a really cool book THE PACIFIC BETWEEN.
And hey did you know he was in an episode of SEX and the CITY???????!!!!!!!

"Finding Novel Ideas" or "The Attention Deficit Disorder Author."
1:30 pm 86 degrees and NO tradewinds.
The author is hard at work writing and revising...writing and revising...
Book ideas are everywhere.
I hear a scrape...scrape...scrape...
"Who's out there?" I holler.
I go out to investigate. It's one of many harbor turtles on a leisurely bi-monthly grazing of the dock. I watched him for a bit because it's important to procrastinate at every available opportunity when creating the next Great American Novel. This one does it differently than the others. The others speed by going for only the large pieces of sea lettuce. They cover more area. This one goes s-l-o-w-l-y. Getting every little bit. He seems to prefer variety. Or does he? Is it turtlely appetite or is he a spy. Lurking. Just waiting for - well - for me to betray myself. He could be a spy. He could. Like those sneaky little dolphins for the Navy.
I go back inside and decide to write about turtle spies. But spies are old. No one cares about spies anymore. I chew my pencil and think. But turtle VAMPIRES now there's something. A turtle vampire would be really cool. Leaping out of the water. So much for being scared of sharks. But what about the people element. Well romance is always big. I would have to have a handsome turtle vampire slayer...is that too close to Buffy? I re-think. Get distracted. Touloose hurls a hairball at my feet.
Gee thanks.
Cats.
Now we're talking. It occurs to me turtles have no teeth and cats have plenty. Cat Vampires. It's just hard. I mean how do you tell them apart. Touloose is always taking a chunk of flesh out of some part of me. I guess you'd have to wait to see how long it takes for you to turn into a vampire...
That would take research.
Lots and lots of research.
I'd probably have to watch all seven seasons of Buffy The Vampire Slayer all over again.
I'd better get started...