Thursday, July 03, 2008

GETTING A 'TURTORIAL'

NOTE: THIS JUST IN. My friend RAY says nobody reads his blog. Prove him wrong!!! Oh and he wrote a really cool book THE PACIFIC BETWEEN.
And hey did you know he was in an episode of SEX and the CITY???????!!!!!!!

"Finding Novel Ideas" or "The Attention Deficit Disorder Author."
1:30 pm 86 degrees and NO tradewinds.
The author is hard at work writing and revising...writing and revising...
Book ideas are everywhere.
I hear a scrape...scrape...scrape...
"Who's out there?" I holler.
I go out to investigate. It's one of many harbor turtles on a leisurely bi-monthly grazing of the dock. I watched him for a bit because it's important to procrastinate at every available opportunity when creating the next Great American Novel. This one does it differently than the others. The others speed by going for only the large pieces of sea lettuce. They cover more area. This one goes s-l-o-w-l-y. Getting every little bit. He seems to prefer variety. Or does he? Is it turtlely appetite or is he a spy. Lurking. Just waiting for - well - for me to betray myself. He could be a spy. He could. Like those sneaky little dolphins for the Navy.
I go back inside and decide to write about turtle spies. But spies are old. No one cares about spies anymore. I chew my pencil and think. But turtle VAMPIRES now there's something. A turtle vampire would be really cool. Leaping out of the water. So much for being scared of sharks. But what about the people element. Well romance is always big. I would have to have a handsome turtle vampire slayer...is that too close to Buffy? I re-think. Get distracted. Touloose hurls a hairball at my feet.
Gee thanks.
Cats.
Now we're talking. It occurs to me turtles have no teeth and cats have plenty. Cat Vampires. It's just hard. I mean how do you tell them apart. Touloose is always taking a chunk of flesh out of some part of me. I guess you'd have to wait to see how long it takes for you to turn into a vampire...
That would take research.
Lots and lots of research.
I'd probably have to watch all seven seasons of Buffy The Vampire Slayer all over again.
I'd better get started...

14 comments:

Bookfool said...

You know, we have a neighborhood vampire kitty. I've posted his photo on my blog. I still like him, but I no longer pet him because he's just too enthusiastic. Pet me more, more, more or I draw blood. Ummm, no. How about I just talk to you from a distance and snap your photo repeatedly, little fur vampire?

Lisa said...

Way to PROCRASTINATE!!!! I'm impressed with your skill level. I'll have to work harder on my excuses in the future. Funny!

laughingwolf said...

lol

gopher it, pat! ;)

happy 4th to you and yours... you ARE in the good ol u.s. of a, now!

Ric said...

Took me ten minutes to think of a comment.

ORION said...

Good job!! Sometimes my posts are just meant to "flow over" you. lol!
Tho sometimes ideas come to me at the strangest times...

Anonymous said...

FORIEGN RIGHTS TO LOTTERY

ummmm......

I do love the blog :)

ORION said...

oh yes...
Norway just got LOTTERY which makes my cousins there VERY happy.

BClark said...

Well, you are a writer and supposed to have weird, er original thoughts. You must also be out there to be struck by the muse, even if it is a vampire turtle.

Barbara

Janna Qualman said...

I just love how writers' minds work. :)

Holly Kennedy said...

Love that turtle, Pat!
It must be good luck, don`t you think, to have a turtle tapping on your boat (my question mark isnt`working... go figure!!!!)

A Paperback Writer said...

I can't say that I've ever been interrupted by a turtle before..... I am amused.
But the turtle and kitty vampires did make me think of the middle grade books popular about a decade ago: Bunnicula and The Celery Stalks At Midnight.
Vampire bunnies have already been done.

John Elder Robison said...

You sure have some big turtles out there. My mate sees herself as a guardian of the local turtle population, stopping daily to help them across the road. It's that time of year, I guess, when turtles DO cross the road just to get to the other side.

nobody said...

My friend RAY says nobody reads his blog.

This is absolutely true. The question is, how did he know?

:)

I'm Andrea said...

Deep breath. A comment on my blog from Patricia Wood is like Christmas in July for me! I LOVED Lottery (more on that later) and actually read it while I was sitting on the beach in Haleiwa. And come to find out you have horses somewhere close by. Very cool. I wish I would have known sooner! Boo.

I've just spent the last little bit reading through your blog and I love it. I'm excited to keep reading and to check back often.

Also, LOVE the picture of the turtle. I wanted to see a turtle while I was in Hawaii but could never find one. We went snorkeling a few times at Sharks Cove and along the reef by our beach house. But alas...no turtles. Maybe next time.

Thanks again for stopping by! You made my day.