Sunday, June 29, 2008

AND THE WINNERS ARE...

85 degrees 9:30 pm
I found an even better photograph of the victorious contestants. They were so happy they literally flew away...



DAWN ANON was the first who guessed that the bathtub was compellingly iresistable and JAY was so beautifully poetic about my appreciation for the wonderful people of Portland.
They have been instructed to email me at patricia@patriciawoodauthor.com
And you all have to know when it comes to rules of my contests -- I follow the canons of the HEADLESS AUTHOR...
Now I know there will be cries of outrage.
There will be grumbling that the judging was not fair. That I was biased. That the rules were not followed.
If you have a complaint about my contest then talk to this AGENT and while you're at it send him your screenplay query or a proposal for your book of poetry. I hear he handles both now...
I'm still having a great time hearing what everyone likes authors to talk about.
So far I've got:
1. Minute details of every surgical procedure they've experienced.
2. Who they think should be the next American Idol and why.
3. Examination of the complex thematic elements found in the design of their cover art and how it relates to western mores and cultural variences.
4. Rocket science.
Well.
Maybe not that last one.
So what DON'T you like authors to talk about?

12 comments:

laughingwolf said...

i don't care for ANY on your list, pat, but then, i'm weird! ;) lol

what i DO want writers to talk about are tips/tricks they've discovered over the years....

Anonymous said...

I don't like when writers talk about their gardens or trees in their backyard. That stuff bores me to tears. I also don't like reading about what they packed their kids for lunch, and things like that.

I like writers to talk about their opinion on MFA programs, their agents, their writing process, their success and failures,how they handled rejection letters, what a typical day in their life is like, etc.

Travis Erwin said...

I like when authors openly antagonize agents by claiming they want more poetry and screenplays sent their way. :)

ORION said...

he he he he he he hehehehehe

BClark said...

I would like to know how to get my sorry ass in gear and write down some of the garbage floating around in my head, along with the voices.

I don't like endless detail, or dry delivery, or people who think they are funny or cute, but ain't.

I find the same thing with books, too much detail and I am bored.

I know I am shallow, but loveable.

Best to you, Barbara

Nathan Bransford said...

Hi Patricia, funny coincidence, I have 20 authors who have written poetry collections and screenplays, and I told them you give great blurbs!!

ORION said...

HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!

Dawn Anon said...

HAHAHA @ the screenplay/agent banter!

HEY Patricia!!!!! where'd you get a picture of my knees?!?! I swear those are my knees!!! UGH!

woohoooo!!!!!! *doing the happy dance* Bathtubs ROCK!

ORION said...

Well they certainly would rock at my place...har har

Jay said...

That pic is scary, Pat. Just what were you doing underwater taking my picture?? I need to work on my abs. Geez.

ORION said...

See now I changed the picture. I think they both look adorable!
Jay your abs look fine in this one but Dawn I think I liked your knees better in the other photo...

Bookfool said...

I like to hear authors talk about how they do their writing because absolutely everyone seems to have a different method of stoking up the muse or kicking its ass, etc., and a time or place to write that works for them.

I love to hear about an author's inspiration -- favorite books and authors, for example.

Not interested in hearing about any author's sex life, where they went on vacation, how early they began writing or reading (yes, yes, you're a prodigy, fine, fine, big woo), but I love to hear about their struggles -- how many manuscripts sat in the bottom drawer after being rejected a million times before the author started selling his self-published book out of the trunk of his car (John Grisham) and built his own little league field (uh, no, don't care).