It's insidious. Compelling. I try to resist.
Try to be a reasonable person. A nice person. I ask how my friends are doing. How their kids are fairing in school. How the job is going. Whether they've ever been to London. Ever been nominated for the Orange Prize...Oh what's the Orange Prize you ask? Well let me tell you...
It's a voggy Saturday in KoOlina Harbor.
"How voggy?" I hear you ask.
Take a look at how fuzzy the Waianae Mountains are behind ORION. (I know those of you nameless-authors-in-the-trenches from CALGARY are laughing your ass off and saying "Those are NOT mountains...They're HILLS! And pretty crappy ones at that!"
Anyway never mind that. What you SHOULD be looking at are the brand new awesome sail covers ORION is sporting.
Can you spell D-I-S-T-R-A-C-T-E-D?
So I was asked to send a signed copy of LOTTERY to an auction for a very good cause -- and I did but I TOTALLY forgot to sign it. I had to send another...
Can you spell B-L-O-N-D-E- M-O-M-E-N-T?
So let's move on. I'm supposed to be doing my very last homework assignment from Dr Brown's class, but I am blogging instead.
Can you spell P-R-O-C-R-A-S-T-I-N-A-T-I-O-N?
I see a hand raised. A question in the back. Yes?
You weren't paying attention. We covered that months ago. It's when the volcano (Kilauea) is erupting on the Big Island of Hawaii and it shoots sulfer gasses into the air and the wind shifts coming from the southwest blowing it over Oahu and ergo on MEEEEEEEEEE.
Can you spell S-E-L-F A-B-S-O-R-B-E-D?
ME: How did I do?
TOOLOOSE: You're getting better but you need to add even more things about yourself. How you feel. What you're going through. Being an author and all... People are interested. Really. Do you think this couch throw makes me look fat?