Tuesday, July 17, 2007


Baby Horse has all four feet off the ground. Kind of like his owner. Counting down to the release date.

9 pm and 81 degrees.
I got REALLY GOOD NEWS...MIA KING will make her way from the Big Island to be at BestSellers at noon downtown Honolulu on the big day August 2. I am picking her up at the airport at 9 am and she promised to be my Number one super duper helper. She will be assisted by the Number one extra ordinary helper Mary who will then be assisted by the Number one very outstanding helper Lisa R.

FUNNY STORY- or maybe a lame story depending on your attitude. So I get a call that I should prepare to do an on air interview for radio via phone.
The conversation went something like this:

Publicist:"This is a great! An interview for radio stations XYZ."

Me:"Oh goody!"

Publicist:"You have access to a land line don't you? Live Radio requires a land line."

Me:" Uh." (remember I live on a boat) "let me work on that."

I find out that many companies including my husband's do not have land lines.
I find out I do not know very many people who have ANY lines...
I call the harbor.

Me:"You guys have a land line?"

Harbor:"No but there's one in the laundry room. You can buy a cheap phone and plug it in. Only one problem."


Harbor:"We don't know the phone number there."

This is where I was inspired.

I called my cell phone from my new phone in the laundry room and presto! The number came up on my cell phone. My publicist was VERY HAPPY.
And Number one extra ordinary helper Mary? What will she be doing next Tuesday between 3 pm and 4 pm? She gets to guard the laundry room door and chase everyone away until my interview is over.

Radio Personality:"What's that noise? It sounds like a dryer."

Me:"What noise?"


Mia King said...

The laundry room. You are an inspiration to us all!

Do I get a badge? I want a badge. I want a badge that says NUMBER ONE SUPER DUPER HELPER. Or NUMBER ONE. Either will do.

I will have the palm fronds ready to lay at your feet ... maybe I should wear dark glasses, too, and a really bad suit. A Secret Service sort of thing. "Step aside, people. Pat Wood is on her way to a signing ..."

ORION said...

I'm working on the badges. Careful...I'm checking out uniforms.
hey what are you doing up this late? You have kids!

Bernita said...

Radio Personality:"What's that noise? It sounds like a dryer."

Me:"What noise?"


Josephine Damian said...

LMAO over the laundry room story!

When life gives you lemons....

FedEx tracking says a certain package arrives today. Woo hoo!

I finished "Origin" last night, will write that review tomorrow (I'm off to my book club this afternoon - we'll be discussing "The Master" by Colm Toibin, then it's off to critique group tonight), and once I've gotten all that behind me, I'll be diving into "Lottery."

Hope to have the review posted by this time next week.

(Hi Mia! Thanks for the myspace comment).

Enjoy the interview, Pat! Hey, maybe you can get a load ot two done while you're chatting! Multi-tasking!

Michelle O'Neil said...

How funny that they didn't know the phone #.

Your life on the boat, the writing, the book about to be released, the horse....all so very inspiring!

That's livin'!

Adrienne said...

I thought it was a very cute story indeed! And quite telling. These days so few people have land lines (I know I dont!)

It all sounds so exciting Pat!! So cool!!

Sarah Miller said...

Yep, that's definitely a funny story.

Kimber An said...

Oh, that is so funny!

Hey, everybody, don't forget to pop over to


for my review of LOTTERY tomorrow (7/19.)

jennifergg said...

Fantastic! You could have sub-titled the post "In which our intrepit author overcomes all obstacles, land-lines and otherwise, to get the job done..."

Lisa R said...

I agree with Mia. I want a badge! Seriously, I'm really looking forward to being your Number 1 very outstanding helper. Too exciting.

Manic Mom said...

You are a genius to figure out the phone number that way!

Just make sure you're not sitting on the washer during spin cycle while the interview is going on!!!!

BTW--got your message--loved it! THanks!!!

Gay said...

This is one of my very favorite posts. LOVE LOVE LOVE the photos, and the story is hilarious. Maybe Hawaii isn't as much like San Diego as I thought... we all still have landlines (and cells). We are uber-reachable people.

I have 5 different e-mail addresses (not aliases), a cell, a landline, 2 fax numbers, plus two landlines at the horse ranch (fax and office). Just so folks can find me. :D

Or maybe it's so I can run from one to the other and not run out of hiding places? Hmmmm.

The Anti-Wife said...

Author overcomes ALL obstacles? Hmmmmmmmm!

Therese said...

Brilliant, truly!

Toddie said...

You live THE most glamorous life ever!! Cat hair on clothes? Pah! I say it's mohair or angora. Sound of dryer in the background? Pah! I say it's the rumble of fans stampeding to buy the book.

Feel free to hire me as your fourth publicist in charge of b.s. spin:).

M. G. Tarquini said...

Remember this story for Oprah.

Mia! I want you to talk into your wrist a lot. Say things like, 'Patricia Wood has entered the building.'

You and Mary and Lisa can totally get into it.

I hope to hell SOMEBODY is taking video.

ORION said...

Am off to Cosco to buy Walkie Talkies.

The Anti-Wife said...

I'm thinking ya need some appropriate music for when ya walk in - like the theme from "Rocky."

LadyBronco said...

Oh, that was a great post, Pat!




Heidi the Hick said...

So your horse is going over fences now? Or is he just reeeeeally excited about your book?

(I got both of mine loping smoothly under saddle and this is a big deal for me, being a weekend warrior!)

Your publicist must love you...!

ORION said...

I just started him over fences. He's doing cross rails and nice gymnastics. We had a great 3-day clinician out and he was doing three six by the end but I really don't want to push him. He is not like airborne - who is a jumper - Baby Horse will make a better hunter.

ORION said...

intrepid author!
Im liking that too!!

Katie Alender said...

What ingenuity! Now you not only know the phone number but own the phone. You're unstoppable!

I pre-ordered Lottery from Amazon!

ORION said...

Thanks katie! I just found out Barnes & Noble is already shipping LOTTERY out as we speak!
My faithful readers have already posted reviews there!!!

John Elder Robison said...

When I was on tour with KISS, cell phones had not yet been invented, and we carried a big trunk full of phones. And that's what we did. We took over a room, wired all the phones, and set Big John to guard the door.

I'm sure you can just see it ...one guy calling for coke and hookers, another calling the Teamsters union hall, one talking to one of our truck drivers, lost somewhere, and another guy talking to the local newspaper.

And amidst all that, Paul walks in and collars the business manager and says, "CK, gimme ten grand. I wanna go gamble."

Yes, life in the phone room.

You need laminated photo IDs. And get Mia a baseball bat to lean on while guarding the door, just for effect.

ORION said...

OHHHH!!!!! baseball hats!!!
Well Mia will be at the signing but it will be Mary guarding the door for the interview. I really like the idea of a baseball bat - will our fish club work as well?

Kanani said...

I want this on You Tube.
And Toulouse... what a nutcase. I love Baby Horse.

Hey, I'm back up. As you know, AT&T took out service to 900 customers without notice for 5 days to install fiber optics.

I actually tracked the worksite down and bothered the guys in person for three days. Finally, my son skated over and said, "I haven't had the internet for three days and I'm getting kind of pissed."

One hour later, they knocked on the door. Voila! Power installed.