Saturday, March 22, 2014

WAS IT SOMETHING I SAID?

THE END… Good. My manuscript is finished. Or pretty much done. Nearly there. Whatever… Little voices in my head. My characters bickering with me. Bickering with each other. "You aren't done with us are you?" "Don't we have to save the world? Fall in Love? Have a terminal disease and have a really poignant death scene?" No, I tell them. You behave. You're done. I made you do everything you need to do. Stop bothering me. "But she got more lines than I did." "Hey, that's because I was the main character." "*cough* *cough* I don't think so." "Well I was key in the inciting incident." "No I think you were key in comic relief." "Stop hitting me." "You started it." "Did not." "Did too." "Did not." Can. You. All. BE QUIET! I'm trying to get some sleep. *Whisper* "See what you did? Now you pissed her off." "What do you mean me? You were the one who said we needed to do more." "Yeah well I think she missed some opportunities. This manuscript could really do well except for your portrayal." "MY portrayal? MY PORTRAYAL??!!!" "I just don't think you're sympathetic enough." "I'm sympathetic. You're deeply flawed. DEEPLY flawed." If you guys can't shut up I will write you BOTH out of this book. You hear me? "This is all your fault." "YOUR fault." "YOUR FAULT." "What's that sound?" "Uh oh. She's going over to her computer." "She's typing." "Hey we're sor_" "Please. Don't ARRRRGGG_" Ah. Blessed silence. Being an author is much more pleasant without characters...

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

DUE TO POPULAR DEMAND...

It is time, the walrus said (paraphrasing), to speak of many things. I chose to have the walrus talk about revival. Revival: restoration comeback resurgence After much procrastination I have finally decided to begin blogging again. (Steve this one's for you). I'm a bit rusty. Of course I have no time. But here's the thing. I miss all my Blogger compatriots and then there's Facebook...weeeelllll hmmmm... let's not get into trashing Facebook. Oh Heck. Let's. The advertisements (Thumbs down) The creeeeeeepy friend requests (Double thumbs down) The insidious ways it has of FORCING you to PLAY STUPID games and waste MASSIVE amounts of time. It's not like I have any control over what I do. I lost that a long time ago when I installed my first dial up internet connection back in the day. I digress. We were talking about Blogging capital B. I was thinking I didn't have the time. I was thinking that I needed help. I realized this morning that I do have help. My characters. Wasn't it E L Doctorow who said writing is socially acceptable schizophrenia? I have a ton of them in my head. I will draw on their help to create posts that I hope will be worth reading. I know they will be worth writing. SO: Open the comments section. Start your engines. Let the blogging begin. Now. This first blog post is dedicated to: Chris. The Church Lady. RIP