Monday, August 02, 2010


Okay so the time got away from me being wounded and all...And I must admit that Blogger wasn't the first thing on my mind when I woke up each morning trying to get my knee or hand to work *insert violin music here*.
I decided to make an effort to post regularly again. There is no better means of procrastination for a writer than Blogger. Anyway I also decided to do some short story writing and flash fiction just for giggles and snorts.
Anything else that Tooloose the cat thinks would be useful.
Recent altercations with the non-writing world.
Such as...

Friday night I went for a walk down the quay (fancy name for a dock when you are writing a story and need to use the word "dock" a lot and find you used it like twenty times in one paragraph so you need to figure out all the different ways to say dock: like "finger pier" and "wharf" and... um... well dock...)
A boat owner down the way had been indulging in spirits (A fancy way to say "drunk" "blotto" "wasted" "inebriated")
He collapsed on my shoulder and said in my ear. "You're the author lady."
It was a statement I couldn't disagree with.
He continued.
"Boy do I have some ideas for you!"
(I won't put in the slurring, hiccups, or belches.)
I believe my response was something along the lines of the Church Lady's "Well isn't that special."
This didn't dissuade him. On the contrary. It seemed to encourage him.
"I got these dreams Yanno! Horrible things. Nightmares that would make really good stories if I could remember them. You want me to try?"
"No, that's okay. I wouldn't want you to go to any trouble."
"Oh it's no trouble."
"No, really."
"Honest I'll start now."
"No. Please."
Note: It's hard to get words of protest out of your mouth and breathe as you are running away from a drunk down a dock and trying not to fall in the water at the same time, but it can be done.
You see there is one phrase that chills the heart of any writer.
Somebody. Anybody saying:
"I got this idea for a book..."
Personally it gives me the heebie jeebies.
What are YOUR fearsome phrases?


Anonymous said...




Lisa said...

I hate my boss asking "Lisa, quick question?" The questions are never quick and they usually entail a TON of extra work. Nothing strikes fear in my heart faster! It was good to see you yesterday!

Brenda said...

After learning that I'm a writer, several people have said to me: "I've thought about writing a book, but I just don't have the time." (You would think we were talking about baking cookies!)

Ric said...

"My life story would be a best seller if I just had someone to write it. You say you're a writer?"

Really, nothing scarier than that.

ORION said...

hahahhahah!!! You win Ric LOL!!

Anonymous said...

I got a great idea for A BOOK is bad enough.

The truly hideous thing is when people say, "I got a great idea FOR YOUR BOOK."

findingmywingsinlife said...

found your blog here after finding your book in the local B&N store and finding it quite captivating :) but in answer to your question here, I would have to agree with your sentiments and perhaps expand that with the thought that anything another enjoys doing and someone approaches them with the words.." I have this great idea that would be perfect for you.." would make a person cringe. The problem is what's great for one, isn't so great for another. But that's just me talking.. :)

lamcdani said...

I always cringe when some asks "don't you remember what happened last night?" after I recount a foggy memory for the evenings festivities. The actual series of events usually involves me saying/doing something ridiculous that I have no recollection of at which point the cringe turns into grave embarrassment...