Sunday, September 14, 2008

ANCIENT HAWAIIAN TOOL FOR REVISION


Writing a novel is hard (ask Tooloose). Editing and revising a novel is even harder. There are those flowery bits of brilliant prose that a writer is just dying to have someone read. Only problem is their beta readers or editor (or worse yet their spouse) tells them those words have GOT to GO...
Well.
No worrys.
I have just the tool you need.
The Hawaiian shark tooth and koa revision tool.
You're unwilling to cut out a segment?
Put your money where your mouth is...
Take the tool.
Hold it against some necessary part of your body and ask yourself.
"Do I want that lovely description of the rosy fingers of dawn grabbing the golden sun's flaring rays and pulling it up into the sky, then letting go?"
OR
Do I want to keep those lovely fingers attached to my hand. Or my left toe. Or right ear.
It's easy.
Even Van Gogh discovered the efficacy of a tool like this to judge if those last few strokes should stay or should be painted over.
Although he might have actually used an ancient French paring knife.
What do you think bloggers?
Is this a tool whose time has come?

25 comments:

liz fenwick said...

Scarey indeed!

ORION said...

Actually I brought my UK editor one of these so he could fend off unruly authors lol!

liz fenwick said...

They let you through customs with it?????

Stephen Parrish said...

Even Van Gogh discovered the efficacy of a tool like this

Careful, you're going to give editors ideas: "Cut 10,000 words or a body part; your choice!"

Joanne said...

Sheesh. Think I'll stick with the Delete Button.

the Amateur Book Blogger said...

I did ear that Van Gogh made no money in his own day and was an unrecognised talent.

Q. What is it really used for? I'm fascinated.

The Anti-Wife said...

Er.... I'll be good. I promise!

ORION said...

yep liz lol!!!
it never occurred to me it was a dangerous weapon lol!!!
(I can see the headlines now:
Orange prize shortlisted author taken into custody at heathrow...)

ORION said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ORION said...

bookblogger-
um it is actually a weapon...yup...and a fairly effective one...

Travis Erwin said...

Hope you don't mind but I'm adding a link to this post in my collection of My Town Monday participants.

ORION said...

aw thanks travis!

Emil said...

Oh gosh!! you can't be serious with this!!

Although I must admit, the tool is pretty small, portable and does come in handy in times of need (on other people that is...)

debra said...

It brings new meaning to te phrase, "cut to the chase ."

Trish Ryan said...

Wow...remind me to wear armor if I ever hear you speak at a writer's conference...that's tough love!

;)

Terrie Farley Moran said...

Scarey but fun!

Terrie

Barbara Martin said...

Looks like an old-fashioned hair brush to me.

Bookfool said...

I'm thinking it could be a useful tool for putting a spouse in his place: "Take me with you (to Hawaii) or lose your [insert favorite body part]." Or to add a little meat to the tired old, "Please empty your pockets before putting your pants in the laundry." The "or else" could really sting.

ORION said...

I guess now everyone will know where my scars come from lol!!!

Mary said...

What strangely beautiful objects!

And of course... had Van Gogh reached not for the palette knife, but for one of these tools, he would have enjoyed more success in his lifetime.

laughingwolf said...

cut - slash - excise!

Dawn Anon said...

Yikes!!

Ello said...

Hey so that's where my husband got my new backscratcher! It works great, except for all the blood...

Good luck on revisions Pat! I am dying to read a new book from you!

Holly Kennedy said...

Amazing!!!

I should get you to send me one of those.

Andy Scontras said...

Hey Pat... It's a lot easier if you pretend someone else wrote it. "What swill is this? It's just terrible & got to go!"

Rum helps. Especially Capt'n Morgans.

Picking errant sharks teeth from my anatomy ...
A.