Wednesday, August 13, 2008

HOME AGAIN HOME AGAIN JIGGITY JIG...IN SECOND PERSON...

You are alone on ORION with your two cats who are pacing nervously, sensing that something is about to happen.
You hear the hoist coming. A rumble. The straps are placed and your boat shakes and groans as she's lifted high into the air. Inside you feel a swinging. You are asea, but not at sea. Over phantom rolling waves.
You are carried with your boat into the ways and lowered. The wind picks up and you swing perilously close to the concrete sides of the ways. But you have help. Your buddies from the boatyard.


The three Mikes come to help you take ORION home. In marinas everybody is either a Mike or a Bob. This is true. Here is a picture of Mike number three. He is married to Cheryl. There are few Cheryls in a marina so you can refer to him as "the Mike who is married to Cheryl" as opposed to "the Mike who is married to Mary and "the Mike who is married to Carol"


You start the engine, make sure the prop engages, gather the lines, and motor out into the harbor.

You notify the harbor with your handheld, "Sailing vessel ORION coming home. Requesting inbound clearance."
There is no answer.
"This is sailing vessel ORION do you copy?"
There is no answer.
"Sailing vessel ORION has entered the harbor. Please respond."
You realize you do not have the volume of your radio turned up.
You feel stupid.
Very.
Very.
Stupid.
You dock. Tie her up. Say goodbye to the Mikes. Let your two very angry and retaliatory cats out of the forward cabin. You spend three hours cleaning boatyard dirt off ORION.
You connect cable and get your high speed internet for the first time in a week.
You feel wonderful. You are no longer sweating. Your hands stop shaking. The rush...the unbelievable rush. You close your eyes in ecstasy... unlimited wireless.
The next morning you wake up. Drink your coffee. And stare at this.

Welcome home ORION.
You read this blog and decide to comment. What do you say? Remember you must use second person...

34 comments:

ORION said...

You are bereft...there are no comments...

Katie Alender said...

You are an angry cat who decides to punish your owner by deleting all blog comments left by her adoring fans... including some with winning lottery numbers and offers of free lifetime supplies of energy drinks for a mention in your owner's next book...

Pat, you are one of a kind! I love the radio story.

pierre l said...

pierre knows how to write in the third person and quite enjoys it. He has no idea how to write in the second person. But he enjoyed the post, so he is going to comment anyhow, regardless of the rules.

ORION said...

You are pierre I.
You are probably French so you do anything you darn well like...lol!

Roberta said...

You are the cat who ate the boat. Feeling smug, knowing there are two of you, you won't tell who did it.

Dawn Anon said...

You notice that your hands are no longer shakey. Clicking the familar links over and over, remaining on the blogs long enough to skim, you feel at home. You sip your coffee and smile because you haven't missed too much. You're baaaaaack!

:)

Dawn Anon said...

PS. Tish Cohen's book sounds wonderful. Thanks for the heads up.

ORION said...

You are glad that your blogging buddies are amused. You have too much time on your hands...you are PROCRASTINATING.

Heidi said...

you wonder what camera the blog writer has, because as a photography buff yourself, you are insanely jealous and hope that these beautiful photos cannot be from some cell phone, and with the money you just spent on a professional camera, you hope it is not one of those cheap develop the entire camera gigs.

And then you wonder if you lived in such a place where the first thing you see drinking coffee isn't a strip mall, if you would have beautiful photos too.

Jay said...

You furiously start writing your next novel because the character has possessed your brain and won't shut up.

Oh wait, that's me. Never mind.

Ric said...

You sit staring jealously at the impossibly blue sky and water.
Then, as the sun comes up, glistening on the dewy grass, and hear coyotes howling close by; the cats want in for breakfast, the sky as blue as you've ever seen it. Michigan in summer - the best.
But you're still jealous and need to get the book done and sold so you can go visit Pat.

ORION said...

You are happy. There are bloggers who want to visit you in Hawaii.
You wonder if they know how to fix marine toilets and sand and varnish teak...

Ric said...

They do not. They wish to sit on deck petting Toulouse, enjoying the fruits of their host's labor.

ChrisEldin said...

Welcome back!!

i'll be more creative later. But I LOVE this post!!
:-)

Bookfool said...

You are reading all the funny comments on Pat's blog, wishing you were a cat who had been locked in her galley for even a short while because at least you'd be on a boat in Hawaii, for crying out loud. You are disinterested in sanding, but you would like to give your sister a good varnishing. You realize this is totally off-topic and stop typing.

ORION said...

You find your inner second Person point of view.
You want to write a whole book like that...but you don't want to read one.

Tracy Madison said...

LOL! I'm way too tired to post creatively at the moment, but I wanted to thank you for stopping by my blog-so I decided to visit yours. I love it!

Holly Kennedy said...

You know you should be writing
and now that your boat is back where it belongs you have no further excuses! Ha!!

BClark said...

You sit sipping your coffe enjoying the view and wondering how other people are greeting the day. You are somewhat smug because you are sure your's is the best. You wish that people has shown up earlier to help with toilet and sanding. You will now go in and write another best seller.

Kim Stagliano said...

You wish Hawaii would bump Rhode Island off the East Coast and settle in for the duration.

ORION said...

You are so amused at your blogging friends creativity and now will finish your coffee and get back to writing.
Until you find a need to check for more comments on your blog say in...five minutes...

Les said...

Welcome home!! Too funny about the boatyard Mikes. :)

You really are a funny writer, Pat. I can't wait to read your next book! I need to find a way to come out and visit you and check out that view. Bookfool and I may show up on your aft deck together. Wouldn't that be fun?!

Dawn Anon said...

You jump for joy because you know how to sand and you can learn how to varnish easily enough. You open a new browser page to look for Hawaii Tourist information and you ignore that nagging voice in your head that calls you "procrastinator".

Chumplet said...

You feel a peculiar jab of pain on your big toe. Tooloose has latched onto your foot in a fit of pique.

You sip your coffee in oblivious bliss. Nothing matters now, because you are home.

laughingwolf said...

you are perfect, pat... lol

ORION said...

You wake up Saturday morning happy. There is a dock party that night and you don't have to cook...

the Amateur Book Blogger said...

"The next morning you wake up. Drink your coffee. And stare at this".

You wonder if that mirror image can really be so perfect, or if the fumes in the cleaning fluid are still having an affect on your vision...

Sustenance Scout said...

You wonder how the few dozen residents of Rhode Island would feel if Kim's wish were to come true. You decide not to wait for it to come true and wonder if Pat would settle for a visitor who can't fix or sand or varnish anything but would love to be one of her new volunteer readers. You decide she'll be thrilled to have you and check flight schedules. You're reminded how much a flight to Hawaii costs. You decide Kim's idea might not be so bad after all! How tough could a bunch of angry Rhode Islanders be, anyway?

Sustenance Scout said...

You thank your (virtual!) hostess for a fun post! And send hugs from Denver. :)

ORION said...

You spend your Saturday working on three bilge pumps cannibalizing them in order to create two working pumps so your boat does not sink.
You wanted to write and then go to the marina party.
You are feeling sorry for yourself.
You drink a corona and feel better...

Sustenance Scout said...

You send a sad author on a boat in Hawaii (whose lifestyle everyone assumes is glamorous) extra hugs and hope Sunday is much more fun for her than Saturday was. Hugs, Pat! K.

pierre l said...

You, the author of this comment, are French-Canadian, not French from France, and you note that this post and the second-person-rule has generated many good comments for the author who is trying to keep her lovely boat afloat and her cats happy. You sincerely hope that the next post will come with a third person rule, so everyone can exercise those skills.
You also send many hugs, but not the UK weather - that you keep for yourself.

ORION said...

Oh. You abjectly apologize for your mistake!! You stand corrected
You wave aloha to Pierre and think that the weather was wonderful in the UK when you were there in June...

Polly Kahl said...

You laugh until your coffee shoots out of your nose. Then you settle down and realize you're a successful author, the mom of loving cats, living on a boat in beautiful Hawaii, and a nice person to boot. You sigh contentedly, then get back to work.