It was only a matter of time...
"You are hearby summoned...for...JURY DUTY!!! Ta DA!!!
Okay I admit it... my husband was telling me to do my civic duty, but my first thought was, "how can I get out of this?"
You see I would be the WORLD'S WORST JURIST. I know this. I'm a novelist. I'm not what lawyers have in mind when they say "an impartial group of your peers."
So I came up with a list:
WHY NOVELISTS MAKE THE WORST JURISTS
1. They recognize purple prose and hyperbole...("he is an upstanding, good, honest, incorruptible citizen." (Only ONE (1) adjective allowed)
2. They have an overactive imagination... (So what if he was in Texas and the murder was in Japan -- it could happen with his own personal speed-of-light learjet and custom laser weapon of doom.)
3. They don't go with this "presumed innocent" stuff... (HE looks guilty, his WIFE looks guilty - even his DOG looks guilty...in fact he looks exactly like one of the characters in my last novel and He DEFINITELY was guilty.)
4. They get distracted easily. (What a GREAT name for a character...I'm writing that down. Wait! What did the judge say? That sounded cool.Oh! The gavel! That made me jump. I wonder when lunch is?)
I'm sure there are LOTS of other reasons. I need to build my case. Give me a hand bloggers. Can you think of any more?