Wednesday, November 07, 2007


Welcome to Fantasy Island...

This month the Dutch version of Lottery is released.

It was SOOO exciting.; I got my VERY FIRST EVER FOREIGN REVIEW and I couldn't read a word of it.
It was in Dutch.
Did that stop me?
No. Not at all.
I pasted the text into a free translation program online.
THIS WAS ADAM'S IDEA (and you know who you are!)
Simple right?
Maybe not.
Here's what I got:

Perry B. Crandall are a bofkont. At least, that is true B. in its name for state according to its granny and actual Perry that themselves find also. He is not mentally handicapped such as others frequently think, because are IQ are 76 and that is still above the border of 75 and therefore is he not mentally handicapped. He is ordinary what slow. A simple description of a captivating personage from the intriguing debuutroman of Patricia Wood.

Ly, but not insipid moving, funnily and sober is the words which are appropriate at this book. Patricia Wood wrote from simple but certainly not insipid view of a slow boy, who is only busy with happy is with what he has. The remaining personages remain because of this what superficial, but this is not annoying. Perry's experience and how he stipulated matter take its enough to continue captivate you the complete book. Its simple look on things works clarifying and logically. It makes the book not too heavy, in spite of the nevertheless violent things that he to process gets. What, however, is notable, is that it seems be here and there written with a film in the down-stream cutwater, especially the last chapters have this strong by the speed which sits there then all of a sudden in. Some what slightly disturbs in this book are haste identical ends of each chapter, but this can become remedied by simply continuing read to you this splendid book from has.

I can't even read this without peeing my pants I'm laughing so hard.
By the way the reviewer gave me 4 stars.
I SERIOUSLY need to learn another language.
Any of you know Dutch?

I thank you most happy with but are got grateful me.
aloha aloha much


writtenwyrdd said...

That's cool! (Appropriate comment, comsindering.) How many countries it Lottery released in now?

Alan aka Avrum ben Avrum said...

Dear Patricia,

Congratulations! That is a funny account! Gotta get me some of that Dutch translation software.



Janet said...

My brother (a computer geek) was trying to tell me (a language geek) years ago that translation software would very soon be doing just as well as human translators. I didn't believe him. I was right.

It is rare you can get something even comprehensible from translation software, let alone accurate. There are so many variables involved - context, cultural references, level of speech, professional jargon, to name but a few - that by the time you got them all programmed in, your software would be obsolete. And you have to know all those nuances in two languages, not just one.

When I was teaching English as a Second Language, one of my colleagues would use computer-generated translations as object lessons in how not to translate. Things haven't changed a bit.

Anissa said...

Too funny! My mom is Dutch, so I can understand most and read some. She's fluent, of course. Let me know if you need any translating. :)

Holly Kennedy said...

I gave up trying to translate/read/understand any of my foreign reviews long ago. They are hilarious, but soooooo hard to comprehend, huh?

Anonymous said...

Two jobs ago, I had to use translation software for stuff that came in from all over the world.

A lot of it came out just like what you saw. (Encouraging, isn't it? ;-))

So I basically had to go through and do one of two things (or both): have the damned program look at a word at a time, or take a mostly-uneducated guess, depending on the context.

Is it surprising that a few things never got translated into English?


Kimber An said...

Oh, this is so funny in a wonderful kind of way!

Therese said...

Best review of any book ever!!!

Oh god, that's funny...

Your Dutch cover's just like the US--whereas mine is strongly reminiscent of my UK edition.

Cool biz, eh?

Michelle O'Neil said...

You know, when I first read it, I almost thought Perry was a bofkont, but a few pages later I funnily realized I was mistaken.

LadyBronco said...

Oh, that is so perfect!

Perry would love it.

Gay said...

I am peeing my pants reading your response to their response.

You go, girl. You are my idol.


Polly Kahl said...

That is the funniest. I love this blog!

ORION said...

I forgot my Norwegian cousin speaks Dutch so he was kind enough to send me a WONDERFUL translation.

Heidi the Hick said...


My favourite part is...

"the intriguing debuutroman of Patricia Wood."

Wow. I think from now on, all aspiring authors will wish to become an intriguing debuutroman!!!

Dutch is so much fun to listen to, but I had no idea how much fun it would be to "translate"!

Anyways, congrats on your 4 star review!

Chumplet said...

Wait until you get one translated from Japanese. Congratulations!

Church Lady said...

Thanks for sharing the 'translation!' That was pretty funny!

And congratulations!!! That's awesome!

Looking forward to e-seeing you tomorrow!!! :-)

Lynilu said...

I'm a bit late on this, but I have to share this with you. My daughter-in-law teaches Spanish at a university. We were talking about students cutting corners, trying to find ways to get around actual study. She said sometimes her students try to get away with using those on-line translators. The result is often as bad as this! She is copying your "translated" critique to show her students!!

Kim Stagliano said...

Well hand me a tulip and pass the Grolsh! Congrats! And those translating robots are a howl! Stephen Parrish had a great post about them. I use BabelFish all the time for single words. When you get into sentences? Lookout!

And they said you were tilting at windmills, eh? Now look at you! A star in the Netherlands! Thank you to Ms. F. at WMA, yes? :)