Let's journey inside to that special place where novel premises are born and pages of fantastical prose are released into the world with much bated breath and anticipation (not unlike ketchup).
Deep.
DEEP.
DEEPER.
Deep in the recesses of the author's mind whence come those little nagging voices. Those tinkling inner conversations that are SOOOO helpful to the creative process.
Let's listen to them now shall we?
Chapter one...
"It's going well isn't it?"
"What? Are you kidding? Look at that dialogue!"
"What's wrong with the dialogue?"
"You can't make your characters say Pishtaw!"
" It sounds good to me."
"Anyway you have to change that description!"
"What about the description?"
"Blue sky? BLUE SKY??!! that's such a cliche. Think of something else"
"Azure? How about azure?"
"You already used azure for the drum majorette's eyes. You can't use it twice in one chapter."
"Why not?"
"You just can't."
"Okay I'll make her eyes brown."
"Everybody's eyes are brown. Enough with the brown."
"There's just no satisfying you is there?"
"Look if I wasn't watching your every move you'd have the mother dead in chapter one and alive again in chapter three."
"It was merely an oversight. I'd have picked it up in copyediting."
"Some oversight! Was relocating the Grand Canyon to California an oversight?"
"This is just a first draft! I can't be worrying about the details."
"Not worry about details? NOT WORRY ABOUT DETAILS???!!! ARE YOU CRAZY?!!!!!!"
Yes.
Yes I am.
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26 comments:
Yeah, I wish all those voices in my head would shut up!!
I was told this weekend at a writing conference that I should write short articles for magazines rather than fiction. Um, is that a hint that my stuff sucks??
I ran out vowing to finish my novel and write a decent hook. Don't tell a type A what they can't do (especially me!!) 'Cuz I've done everything I was told I couldn't do and continue to.
Write on!
I think this was my major malfunction the past few months - I couldn't get the inner editor to SHUT UP. It really interferes with my first drafts.
Inner Editor must be bound and gagged for the duration of the first draft.
Bur he's such a Houdini.
The Inner Editor can be helpful but he can also freeze you in your tracks as I have discovered. I've banished him for the duration.
Does it scare you sometimes when you realize you've just had a full-blown conversation with yourself? LOL! Does me!!
Wow, you and I are having the same brain movie!
Also I love that photo.
for many reasons!
Yeah, me too.:)
When I see horses running as we drive by, I never fail to plaster my nose to the window and watch until I can no longer see them. No, I'm not driving.
My inner voice has been eerily silent the last few weeks. Maybe it's mad at me.
If I ever travel to the big island, can I meet your horses? I'm completely in love.
Amy MacKinnon
Cerulean, Pat. Use cerulean. Isn't the Grand Canyon in CA? Some of it must be, right? Heck if half of Niagara Falls can be in another COUNTRY I think the GC can span many states.
If you think I'm going to tell you, famous published author, how to edit you really ARE crazy. I got nothing. Nothing I tell you.
K
Actually there were many more voices but then I realized my husband left the WX 1 channel on with continuous computerized voices announcing the weather reaally reeeaallly low.
You know that inner voice? It has duplicated itself upteen millions of times and visits any fool who believes he/she is going to sit down and write a novel. It's a test we must all pass, learning how to lock the little bugger away and control our own creativity. Damn thing is good at locks though, huh?
hahaaahhhaaa!! LOL!
My *unpublished* voices go something like this:
Where did I put that file?
Damnit! Can't find it.
Go blogging.
Okay.
I won't spend too long..
But this one's funny.
This one's funny too.
And this one helps me with my writing.
And I can't skip this one.
(Four hours later)
Damnit, where's that file?
Okay, check email instead.
Another ejection. At least it's polite. A candidate for my Agent Hottie list.
Get back online.
Google photos.
Can't find any photos.
Email friends-'Do you have any photos of this agent?'
Check blogs again.
Pick up kids from school.
I'm right there with Church Lady blogging until I'm late to pick up the kids, that sort of thing! My latest BEYOND Understanding post features your wonderful book, Patricia; check it out at www.sustenancescout.blogspot.com. I would have loved to have met you while we were in Hawaii. Next time!! K.
Tee hee, I'm so glad to know that a fabulous big time author like you now, also talk to the voices in her head. i feel such a kinship to you now! ;o)
Could it be something that's going around? I'm having the same problem!
No, not crazy-
LOL.
BTW - I have to wait until Lottery comes out in France to post the review up at Amazon.fr - but I'll do it AS soon as it does.
Did I mention how much I LOVED that book??
:-)
Ah well you can always post on regular amazon LOL I'm not picky!
Straight jacket and duct tape.
I can waste a half hour deciding eye color.
Must go write, now, where I can at least avoid the insidious pull of the Internet...
Hunh. Apparently you stole my inner editor. (yay!) You can keep him for another week while I finish first draft :)
Loved this, loved this! I was smiling already a quarter of the way down, laughing aloud by the end. Thank you!
Hannah
Hilarious!
HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Crazy like a fox.
Oh, that's so cliche.
The horse photo is fabulous.
dear orion,
at this hour, i often fall asleep at the keyboard, begin dreaming about a new sentence or a correction, try to wakeup before the idea runs out my ear into the martini glass still but not often half-full, leaving the idea unrecoverable. Yet the leftover martini is drinkable. Life is Good!
Alan D. Busch
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