Lisa, Holly and Mindy posing for me. We are all exhausted yet inspired.
9:30 pm. Tomorrow is the last day of the retreat. A half day. I'm trying to figure out if I can fit in a massage. I hope so. I finished my scene but I'm still dissatisfied. I see where my voice falters and my writerly self intrudes.
I start to see that by recognizing this failure in others I can see it in my own pages. I had three hours of sleep last night and yet find it difficult to rest and relax.
I must sleep. Holly kept putting drops of visine in my eyes each time she noticed they were red. I must look like some werewolf or vampire. Talk to Holly. She sees them in everyone's project.
Tomorrow we finish looking at shortened paragraphs that pitch the premise of our novels. Unagented writers are preparing to talk to agents and editors. I feel their nervousness and yearn to say it's Okay to be stressed. I long to offer reassurances that they will obtain representation. But I can't. After the elation of the retreat and working on projects comes now the bitter reality for some.
And my heart goes out to them.
Wanting it badly does not mean getting.
Perseverance is the trait that is needed here.
Getting up again...and again...and again...
Then once more.