GONE FISHING...across the Pacific...

A new take on intermingling of the species...


By the time you read this I will be packed up and ready to help crew a 70 ft Santa Cruz back to LA from Honolulu with my friend BJ, my new friends Ryan and Naomi and somebody else who I don't know the name of (possibly Hannibal Lector or maybe I just heard wrong)
It should take about two weeks and successfully remove any lingering addiction to the internet and like a recovering heroin addict I will be able to get high on a less amount of online entertainment when I get back.
(For those who don't know me that was a joke...)
So wish me fair skies and brisk winds. Oh Bob Beta reader? Can you post updates in the comments section when Gordon calls you?
Alooooooooha!

If you're in LA drop an email to patwoodauthor@gmail.com

WHY I WILL NEVER TWITTER AND OTHER UNINTERESTING FACTS ABOUT ME...

I have no self control.
I'm a writer. We tend to think that we can write anything. Anywhere. Anytime.
I've even had to cut back my blogging (and lots of you have noticed). It's just that I can either write many pointless but entertaining blogs or finish my novels.
But on to facts.
It's tempting to go off on tirades, but the thing is that boomerang often times comes back to bite you in the butt. I know. I have butt bruises.
So I'm going to make a pledge to work and play nice with others.
It's one of those things they taught you in kindergarten along with cover your mouth if you cough and don't take other people's things.
Anyway I'm open to other kindergarten aphorisms.

TODAY BEGINS THE COUNTDOWN: Hawaii writers retreat
47 days to go until I work with Jacquelyn Mitchard and Karin Slaughter with HOLLY!!!!!

What I have been doing:
I am putting together what I'm going to work on. I wavered back and forth and decided to bring something new (as opposed to something borrowed or blue).
I have two days to get 10 pages up to speed. I think on a retreat when you will be working with the same group for several days it's important to figure out what your goal is. What you want to get out of the process. So I opted to work on a novel in progress. (not the one my agent has) but one that I have about 34,000 words. Not even a first draft finished. I want to see if my MC has a distinctive authentic voice.
So I hear there is still room at the retreat and conference...
Check it out if you can.
I'm a genuine addict of the Hawaii writers conference and retreat.

LOOKING FOR THOSE JUST REWARDS

So I was walking down the dock minding my own business...wait that's a lie.


Writers NEVER mind their own business. So I was walking down the dock and saw a squid hanging out so I had to whip out my iPhone and take its photo.
But anyway back to my lying.
It was Sunday school. I think I was maybe four or five. I had an option. Keep the dime or put it in the collection plate. I swallowed it.
"Where did that dime go?" Mrs. McLaren asked.
"Um...I lost it." (Said with shifting eyes and finger in mouth)
I really can't remember anything else because I was upside down being shaken...suffice it to say my teacher got that dime out of me. I knew I had to perfect my fibs.
Fast forward fifty years.
Authors are full of it. Lying I mean. Well, exaggeration. Eavesdropping on conversations, meeting a person with a really cool name that you appropriate for your next book, imagining all sorts of dire possibilities when a friend is late for lunch.
I was speaking with a book club a few weeks ago and someone asked me what I thought the BEST quality a writer could have...and um...I told them.
Be a liar.
Be the best possible liar you can be.
And then lie some more.
All learned from Sunday school so long ago...

NOTE: Check out cool AUCTION HERE.